a man tried to kill me outside Kings Cross Station

A 49 year old Chinese man tried to kill me. His callous murder-thirsty eyes. Smiling and snarling like a rabid crazed dog.

“P-p-p-p-leeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeee. Please stop!!!”

“I’ll do anything, please, please”

His butchers knife sparkled under the mellow yellow late September sun.

It was the middle of the day just behind Kings Cross Station.

Everyone starred.

“Pleaseeeee JUST STOP… you don’t need to do this…”

“I’ll change my mind.. p-p-promise I’ll c-change my mind ”

He lifted butchers knife above his neck.

I was seriously touching clothe (and trou) at this point.

He pointed to Table 23.

“Go sit there… you stupid idiot”

Last Friday, I went Dim Sum & Duck in Kings Cross.

At Dim Sum & Duck they don’t give a FUCK - they pay fastidious attention to forgetting you even exist.

So stale, it’s warm.
So god-awfully shite, it’s charming.

However, the Food is Fucking C’est Bonne Bonne Chief.

Crispy Duck….

the colour of autumnal leaves and caramel tanned Santorini hunks and babes. Under the bunker of crispy skin:: a sinful amount of unctuous meat.

Soft fluffy pork buns….

White fluffy snowballs, rolled through the white snows of heaven, inside a hellish gnarly murder-red centres of soft gooey pork.

Blissfully, I entered Only Scran’s mode. Scranning HARD.

“Come to Puppa…Bubba”

A tangle of crispy chilli beef doused in flame-thrower spice, spiked with venomously yummy daggers of garlic and chilli.

Mooch and groove to soft mountainous mess of noodles, bouncy-castle soft on your gob.

Chowin’ down Chow Mien for Mainzzzz Cuzzy

Dim Sum…

Little palatial podgy carby castles, erupting like volcanoes with chive specked porky fat lava. YUM.

Who knew Chinese Food could teach you so much about brand building?

Sounds like it’s 6am…at the afters… birdsong brewing brev… trust me brev… there’s proper studies on this brev.

When you eat Chinese Food, the only constant is change.

Every texture and flavour and spice is a Surprise & Delight.

In tandem with chowing Chow Mein, Manz been chowing down 3 books. Voraciously, Phat Phuck style.

Evolutionary Ideas - Sam Tatam

Serendipity It Doesn’t Happen By Accident (unless you’re 8 tequilas deep and randy on the Magaluf strip) - David Cleevely

Gastrophysics by Charles Spence University of Oxford Professor init

There is one golden thread through these books you can apply to brand building.

Variable Schedule Reward Theory

A variable schedule of reinforcement is a partial reinforcement strategy where a reinforcement is delivered after an unpredictable number of responses or an unpredictable interval of time, rather than a fixed or consistent pattern

Variable Schedule Reward Theory is bullseye for our dopamine.

Humans love surprise and constant change, it sparks dopamine.

Humans love the anticipation of an event, more than the actual event itself.

You see this in a panoply of different categories.

Football

Why is Football the biggest sport in the world?

The anticipation and variability of a last minute ABSOLUTE SCREAMAAAAAAAAA BREV

= variable schedule reward theory = dopamine surge = keeps you hooked.

Las Vegas & Gambling

The most salient and strident example is Las Vegas. Why are humans losing millions and millions every night?

Gambling is variable schedule reward on steroids.

Variable schedule reward theory = variable schedule reward theory = dopamine surge = keeps you hooked.

Love and Finding the One

Why you think you’re in “love” with the girl or guy who’s hot and cold to you.

As Chris Williamson says…. “You treat me like crap and you’re in & out of my life, you text me a bit and then you go cold and I don’t hear from you???” - you might be the one!”

Waiting for a WhatsApp message = variable schedule reward theory = dopamine surge = keeps you hooked.

…. a quick note from our fucking game changing sponsor….

Movies and Books

Humans love a “plot twist”. A sudden change or surprise. Game of Thrones mercilessly wiped out HUGE characters out the blue, on the reg.

No wonder the World became hooked on the programme?

variable schedule reward theory = dopamine surge = keeps you hooked.

Runna App

The running app, Runna, uses variable schedule reward theory. Constantly changing your frequency or length of runs.

I am now mildly addicted to running.

Variable schedule reward theory = dopamine surge = keeps you hooked.

Techno Music

Techno music is variable schedule reward theory for your ears.

Constantly changing when the music drops, increases peoples anticipation, increases peoples dopamine.

Variable schedule reward theory = dopamine surge = keeps you hooked

Let’s apply this to Food & Drink Brands…

The below examples use variable schedule reward theory to surge our dopamine and keep us hooked to their brand world.

Nando’s Wing Roulette
Tony’s Chocolonely’s uneven chocolate bar
Doritos Crisp Roulette
Kinder Egg Surprise
McDonald’s Happy Meal Toy
Flat Iron free ice cream at the end of your meal
Chinese Food and the constant change of texture and flavours and surprises
Indian Food and the constant change of texture and flavours and surprises

Brands can HARNESS variable schedule reward theory = increase dopamine surge = keep your customers hooked.

“The best marketing is the marketing you’re bored of” - what a load of absolute bollocks

Lots of VEJA, curmudgeon smothered marketeers BANG ON and ON

Flapping their gums. Yapp-Yapp Yappin’ Yappin

“The best marketing is the marketing you’re bored of”

Look, of course, I get ya mate.

Brands ABSOLUTELY need Consistency.

But, Brands also need Surprise.

Brands adopting a “Consistency” vs. “Surprise” Barbell strategy win.

Pret A Manger deployed the Surprise vs. Consistency Barbell

Consistency = great coffee, great sarnies, consistent brand messaging

Surprise = Pret staff gave out FREE pastries or coffees or sandwiches RANDOMLY to customers.

Variable Schedule Reward theory = bullseye for dopamine = keeps your customers hooked

The best marketing is the “marketing is the marketing you’re bored of AND the marketing you’re completely surprised by”.

Pret A Manger’s Free Coffee or Croissant to random punters.

Have a BANGING weekend

P Dizz xx

Still Hungry? Course you are…

Please feel free to gorge on the most downloaded podcast episodes of all time (these are CERTY: BANGERS)

1. Rory Sutherland: Why Challenger Brands Must Never Follow Logic to Truly Disrupt Categories 

2. Waitrose CEO: How Challenger Food & Drink Brands Can Win and Build Profitable Partnerships with Waitrose - James Baile

3. Spencer Matthews: How Spencer Matthews Built Unshakeable Resilience and Raised + £10m to Launch Clean Co. in Sainsbury's, Tesco and the U.S.A. 

4. How Grenade Exited to Mondelez for £200 Million and Lessons in Unapologetic Authenticity- Juliett Baratt

5. Tyrells Tycoon: How William Chase built and sold Tyrells for £50 million and sold Chase Distillery to DIAGEO 

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