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Is Grocery just Louis Vuitton handbag for Challenger food and drink founders?
Dan Pope
March 22, 2024
Is Grocery the Louis Vuitton handbag for Challenger Food & Drink Founders? (do you want it or need it)
4.46pm.
The milky-pink sunset sky began to massage The City, it’s burning orange sun softly dancing along the dappled roof tops. Spring yawning and stretching and wiping the Winter Sleep from her eyes.
Milky-pink sky folded into the streets like melting Fairground Candy Floss. The dark abyss of winter finally fucking-the-fuck-off.
Just recorded a podcast with Rory Sutherland (there you go, that’s me status signalling). Lugging my podcast kit through The City in my VEJAS (status signalling again).
Boozers pregnant with pugnacious bankers wankers. Hustle. Bustle. Raucous rabbles running the streets.
I ambled my way through Leadenhall Market, feeling jumbled and rumbled, crumbled into a crumbling boozer, where, I nursed an Alcohol Free beer (yup, status signalling again).
The hot-rifling repugnant stench of Louis Vuitton cologne swamped my cold face. Louis Vuitton Handbags. Goofy Gucci trotters. Polished shoes shining like the oil they nab from the ground.
Conversations folded into the air like braggadocios butter into a Cake of Crass.
**Signet Ring Slurpers**
**Pinky Finger Proudly Pointing upwards**
“MATEEEEE, got a Fuuuuuucking Gangster Pad in Cap Du Ferat this year” (status signalling)
“MATEEE, just brought a FAT Daytona Rollie, but gunna get a bespoke strap…as I feel that reflects my hollow personality slightly more” (status signalling)
“Mateeeeeeee, obvs, don’t tell the Insurance Golf Bros about this…just say I’m going The Little Yellow Door in Notting Hill… Buuuuutttt… I’m actually going to a Crazy P Disco Rave in Peckham on Friday…which is SO. JOKEEES. Because I make Crazy amounts of P harharharrhar
“Mate, I got a bucket hat from a Vintage shop in Shoreditch during my lunch break… picked up an ITSU on the way back… it’s North Face.. meant to be pretty cool or some shit … do you reckon I should take the Daytona Rollie, mate? Or is that a bit much mate?”
I am reading Will Storr’s “The Status Game”. Boundlessly and endlessly fascinating.
Status is everywhere.
You crave status.
I crave status.
All humans crave status.
Status is part of human nature.
Status gives us meaning.
No status leads to depression and anxiety.
“Researchers find our reward systems are activated most when we achieve relative rather than absolute rewards; we’re designed to feel best not when we get more, but when we get more than those around us.”
Surely this doesn’t exist in our wonderful, friendly world of food and drink?
Nay, status is everywhere.
Hop, skip, jump, rollerblade or Lime Bike from the Cathedrals of Crass Consumption to graffiti-crawling-sprawling Shoreditch.
Food and Drink networking events: Status Signalling is Rife.
Grocery is the Luis Vuitton hand bag for Food and Drink Founders.
Like the Louis Vuitton hand bag, Grocery is desirable.
Like the Louis Vuitton hand bag, Grocery is expensive.
Like the Louis Vuitton hand bag, Grocery is status signalling vs. other founders in your category.
But, like, the Louis Vuitton hand bag, it’s HUGE is it worth it?
Pretty-Much-Every-Food-Networking Event.
New Balance Nico Founder
vs.
Normal Norman Founder
Trust me, I’ve been a New Balance Nico. I am very much part of the problem, MATTEEEEEEE.
New Balance Nico : “Yahhhh brah, just did a 10k hybrid workout round Viccy Park, how’s your Disty looking this year, brah”
Normal Norman Founder: “yes, great thanks mate, really happy with OOH and we’ve got a really strong wholesale business. Currently livening Milton Keynes and working from cafes”
New Balance Nico: “MATEEEEEEEEEE, that’s SAVAGE. You DON’T have a Mult listing? Mate, do you ACTUALLY even know what a Multi is?! Bet you think it’s a MULTINATIONAL hahahaha - that’s SO. JOKEEEES”
Normal Norman Founder: “yes, I know what a mult listing is. But we’re building slowly and surely and really happy with our wholesale business”
New Balance Nico: “Bro, we’re FLYING in Waitrose, Morrisons and JS (…you do know JS is Saino’s right?!! Like Sainsbury’s. The one with the orange bag mate…Just checking mate!! )
New Balance Nico: “Annd, MAAAAAAAAATE, that’s fucking savage. You live in Milton Keynes. Not in East. (East London… not East Midlands hahahahhahaha)
“You okay about that, mate? I’m here if you wanna talk about it mate?! Mate, I can try Courier up some Dusty Knuckle Sourdough for you mate?”
New Balance Nico: “Anyway, catch ya inna-bit, just gunna go grab a few swiftys with the Ocado Catty D… FYI that’s CATEGORY DIRECTOR… follow me on STRAVA too,brah”.
Founders benchmark their brand based on Grocery listings.
Grocery is the Louis Vuitton Handbag for Food and Drink founders.
Do you really need the Louis Vuitton Handbag?
Why not build a 10 Million D2C business, like Matt Kelly form SpaceGoods.
Matt Kelly even said on the podcast “It’s crazy how people see Grocery as the Holy Grail of a successful food brand
Why not build a huge + £10 million wholesale business, like Ed Foy from PRESS.
Why not build a huge Food Service business, like Josh from CanO Water
One founder from one brand that I love. They’re literally everywhere. He said on a call to me last year: “We don’t have a brand, until we have a grocery listing.”
WTF?!!!
Do you ACTUALLY want a Grocery listing?
Or do you want the STATUS of having a Grocery listing to tell other founders and plaster on LinkedIn?
Founders garner MORE STATUS by saying “we’ve got a 1000 store Sainsbury’s listing (even if it pulls in £500k revenu ) vs. a £3 million wholesale business.
For early stage founders Grocery isn’t the promised land.
Grave Dangers lurk in the Grocery Luis Vuitton hand bag
High Hurdle Rates
Nightmare and hugely costly managing availability (especially with a small team)
No availability = shit rate of sale = see ya later mate
Huge competition with big incumbents
Costs huge sums of invest in Gondola Ends to actually drive rate of sale
Funding promotions + media chips away at precious margin
Am I saying don’t go for grocery?
Absolutely not.
Look, to build a household brand you ABSOLUTELY need grocery. If you’re the size of Bio&Me or Lucky Saint or Little Moons - be my guest - go for grocery immediately.
But, most people aren’t that size and most people haven’t raised shit tonnes of money to go gang-busters.
But, I see so many brands get blinded by the razzle-dazzle of Louis Vuitton.
The status of Louis Vuitton Hand bag. They go in and out of retailers like a fucking revolving door.
A few things need rejigging
We shouldn’t benchmark the success of brands on the number of “Available at” grocery listings on their Instagram Handle.
We should really applaud smaller brands (who don’t have HUGE sums of investment) building in OOH or gifting or DTC
Smaller brands must approach Grocery with caution. Ask yourself the hard question “Is this REALLY the right fit, right now?” or are we doing this to garner status with our peers?
Wank over a Waitrose listing. Go for it. But ask yourself. “Do we actually have the muscle (team, resource, marketing spend etc) to drive the rate of sale and build a sustainable business here?”
Buy the Louis Vutton bag when you can actually afford it.
Go for Grocery when you can actually afford it.
Introducing our WONDERFUL agency partner HC Consulting
Harry Clarke and Lili Wiranatha are doing EPIC work with EPIC brands -Holy Moly Dips, The Gut Stuff, Savyll Drinks, REMEO Gelato
Struggling to unlock distribution?
Sales pitch not landing?
Don’t want to hire a full time sales director - but need the advice and guidance?
Need a helping handing with account management to keep your beloved listing?
Please do yourself a favour.
Reach out to my boi, Harry Clarke, Harry may be able to help!
Deets here:
Still Hungry? Course you are…
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