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he hated my guts, we didn't speak for 18 months
Dan Pope
May 23, 2025
he hated me. I hated him. We haven’t spoken since 2012. Maybe I should call him?
there was one teacher who hated me.
Let’s call him Mr Helmet.
Mr. Helmet was my Biology teacher.
Funny enough, Mr. Helmet was a massive helmet and always had a bicycle helmet under his arm, yup, that kind of helmet and probably didn’t clean his helmet, what a helmet.
That’s just by judging by his personal biology. Resplendent with repugnance. Opulently odious. FUGLY Mutha fucka. Clammy hands. Feeble-wilted-spinach-handshake. Nefarious-Flame-thrower tongue smoking students confidence.
Mr. Helmet quelled and squelched and squeezed and strangled my audacious ambition. Burning my Raging Palace of Optimism to Damn of Damnation.
“Just to manage expectations, Dan, I wouldn’t apply to a Russel Group University”
“Just to manage expectations, you’re going to have to extra Maths lessons”
“Dan, you’re trying really hard, but we just need to manage your expectations”
Mr. Helmet always wore those yellow reflectors cyclists wear around their ankles and a perturbingly unhealthy addiction to CoOp Scotch Eggs.
I’d sit in Biology lessons unable to see Hope in my muddy malaise of self-reproach.
“I’m a loser”
“You’re shit at everything, Dan”
“What am I gunna do with my life?”
“Do I even wanna go to University?”
I possessed the self-esteem of a crumbled Salt & Vinegar packet of crisps in a muddy puddle in Weston Super Mare. No Super powers. Only night Marre. Drowning in a screaming pit of low self confidence. Unsure of myself. Unsure of my future. Unsure of everything.
Yet deep - deep - deep - deep - down in my marrow a furnace of audacious ambition bubbled.
My issue with Mr. Helmet?
He was TOTALLY different around parents compared to students. His loquacious gob sputtering out gooey platitudes to Mr and Mrs..
His actions didn’t line up with his words.
His words didn’t line up with his actions.
Alas,
I didn’t apply to Russel group University.
After the most wonderfully British Summer with the 2012 Olympics roving through Lannddaaaan Taaaaan.
In September 2012, I found myself in the South West, feeling West, sinking South. without a North Star,
Bournemouth University.
I was a neurotically insecure student. I was drinking like a parched trout and partying like an gluttonous alien.
“What THE FUCKING-FUCK am I going to do with my life?”
After a term, I dropped out of Bournemouth.
My Star arrived. I worked at a pub called “The Star” on the long road connecting the M25 to Chessington World of Adventures. Pulling pints, is this my North Star to a world of adventure?
There I met another Helmet
same thing.
His actions didn’t line up with his words.
His words didn’t line up with his actions.
My manager at The Star was a 5 ft 2 South African failed Scrum Half who couldn’t have a laugh nor see over the bar.
Safa Scrummy-Scrappy Doo used to extol the virtues of his Under 18’s International Rugby career.
With the lucid clarity of Caribbean gin-clear sea water, I remember, on my first shift, one of the regulars, Terence, who had long hair and skin a greasy-grey like Fish & Chip paper.
Through his snarly and flemy smokers cough, Terence arrestingly announced
“Guinness Shandy Guv’nor”
Obvs, Guinness Shandy ceases to exist.
Obvs, I starting pouring one.
Obvs, all the regulars starting erupting in convivial joy.
Safa Scrummy-Scrappy Doo BOWLED IN LIKE THUNDERRRRR
“Whatha fak, yuuuuhh stooopid BRAH?”
“Whadddaaaa thaaa fakinnnnn fuk is that?!”
“Whaaa tha fak braah?
“Are youuu fukin’ stoopid brah”
Yet Safa Scrummy-Scrappy Doo was vanilla-ice-cream affable to the all the regular punters. Plying and punting them with electric niceties.
His actions didn’t line up with his words.
His words didn’t line up with his actions.
I learnt by Osmosis from Mr Helmet and Safa Scrum Half Scrappy Doo
I learnt by observing their actions not their words.
They taught me a lesson that’s stuck with my whole life.
There’s a difference between
Osmosis learnings vs. Prescribed learnings.
Prescribed learnings = when people tell you something to do or teach you something. Prescribed learnings = when there is an audience around.
Prescribed learnings = a management meeting.
Prescribed learnings = what people say.
Osmosis learnings = more subtle, you learn by observing, you pick up through .
Osmosis learnings = what people do when there’s no one in the room.
Osmosis learnings = watching someone lead from the trenches.
Osmosis learnings = what people do.
Why Osmosis learnings are important?
If you’re a founder.
Realise this:
Your team will pick up on what you’re doing when NO ONE is around.
Your team will observe your actions.
Your team will see how you treat a waiter at a cafe.
Your team will be watching how stressed you get when things go wrong.
Your team will be observing how you show up every single morning despite what’s going wrong.
It’s not just what you tell your team.
It’s how you act when no one is looking.
Be very self-aware of the vibe you give off and the osmosis lessons your team will pick up.
One of the greatest gifts of the podcast, before we hit record, fortunately, I get to observe founders.
some of my fave Osmosis learnings
1. Julian Metcalfe
Before the podcast started, Julian was on the phone to someone in Korea trying to find the best sea weed ingredient on the planet. Julian was ferociously fastidious and unflinching, uncompromising, unrelenting on finding THE best ingredient.
Osmosis learnings: TOTAL OBSESSION
Osmosis learnings: THE RELENTLESS PURSUIT OF BETTER IS 24/7 TING
Check out latest poddy with Julian.
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Rory Sutherland
Rory, arguably, the greatest speaker of all time. Rory told me he gets nervous before he does speaking. Rory says the only way to not get nervous is to do reps.
Osmosis learnings: REPS COUNT
Osmosis learnings: Keep showing up.
Fallow:
Before the poddy, Jack & Will were outside in their chef whites laying the tables outside their restaurant. They were doing it. Not the general manager. The founders lead from the front.
Osmosis learning: Do the shitty work. Your team respect you for the doing the grunt work.
Takeaway thoughts.
Look for osmosis lessons: how do people act when no one’s looking - that’s a better judge of character.
Be conscious of the vibe you give off to your team, remember they learn from osmosis too.
Peace and love P Dog The 5th
xx