okay this is what ACTUALLY happened in America

Big laughs. Big cars. Big food. Big Bargains. Big bellies. Big bottoms. Big signs. Big stadiums. Big blue sky. Big cow boy boots. Big guitars. Big fun. Big yum. Big Macs. Big hearts. Big tums. Big buses. Big trucks. Big flags. Big eryting.

Nashville, Airport Tennessee. 8.19am.

Left my baggage in London, collected my luggage in Nashville.

Stumbled out the Airport. Lit my first ciggy on Merica Fuck Yeah soil (post plane cig is the best cig).

Outside:::

big thick, cold sunny, raw skies cloying with a fresh bite and sunny-side up beaming yellow sunshine.

YUMMY.

My dilapidated Chrysler People Carrier taxi, looked it had been on a 62 hour bender on Barry Island, Wales, pulled up.

Said Dilapidated-Chrysler-People-Carrie-taxi-post-Barry-Island-bender glided along the GIRHTY roads with GRRRRRRRR.

Everything is Python big. Double D, Throbbing fun in M’erica Fuck Yeah.

9.06 am.

Rocked up at my hotel. Over the bridge, past the river, stood The Nissan Stadium, home of Tennessee Titans.

My excitement matched the stadium and portion sizes. FUCKING MASSIVE. XL.

Everywhere you go in Nashville you’re pummelled with:

Yes Ma’am. Yes Sir.
Ya’ll loved. Ya’ll the best. Ya’ll amazing. Y’all blessed.

Y’all gooey-cotton candy platitudes are doing my nut in now, mate.

America is a VIOLENT cultural SH_O_CK and S_L_A_P around the chops.

9.17am - I was looking for watering hole to watch the England vs. Wales Six Nations match.

9.33am- Alas, Lost Popey found himself at The Lost Paddy.

Inside The Lost Paddy::

Brigades of Balds, of the Scottish strain specifically, slurped up cholesterol-charged slop and pancakes smothered in cardiac-arrest-caramel syrup.

On the adjacent table, a rambunctious rabble of Glugging-Plugging Americans, glugging beer and plugging their business.

Ahhhhhh Americans. Y’all always, Glugging. Y’all always, Plugging.

At The Lost Paddy, I met two fellow Lost Toffs (shock)

Nate and Ali, both moved from London to Nashville in 2019. Both great craic. I spent the weekend hanging out with them. Our conversation was linch pinned around culture and the similarities and differences between USA and UK.

It got me thinking.

So many British brands want to crack “America”, yet, so many fail. Why? Why? Why?

These questions kept tickling and scratching my curiosity.

First, the cultural SLAP ROUND THE FACE, I experienced

1. No one swears

2. No one smokes

3. No one drinks on the street

4. Everyone drink drives

5. Everyone wears a cap

6. Everything is big

7. Salesmanship is everywhere - it’s encouraged.

8. They obey some laws strictly yet disregard others totally

9. The buildings are big yet vacuous

10. Everyone is incredibly friendly yet hollow

11. Politics is ever present, yet never discussed

12. Portions are huge

13. Hardly anyone I met there had been to New York or LA (this blew my mind)

14. Subtleness is nowhere

15. Large is everywhere

16. No one gets humour or sarcasm

17. No one gets politeness

18. Everything is so literal

Okay. So what do so many British brands get wrong about America

1. “Britain and America. We are Two Nations Divided by a Common Language” - Oscar Wilde

This sumptuously delicious Oscar Wilde quote describing Britain and America… “We are Two Nations Divided by a Common Language” explains tonnes.

Brits believe we’re similar to Americans PURELY because we speak the same language.

Let’s imagine, for a mo, in a parallel universe…

Suddenly, everyone in America, Portugal and Germany speak English as their first language.

Suddenly, when we all speak the same language, English, the silent cultural differences become very loud.

CATEGORICALLY… the British would align WAY closer with Portugese and Germans vs. Americans if we all spoke English.

We are SO. SO. SO different it’s CRAZY.

British brands must not be blinded by the gargantuan size of the American Market and “common language”.

Mark Palmer, ex-Marketing Director of Pret A Manger talked at length about the challenges of launching Pret in America. The Americans didn’t get it at all.

Don’t be blinded by the “common language”.

2. America’s involvement in WW2. False bezzies narrative

Tangentially and historically, but, importantly, USA’s involvement in WW2 created a “false bezzies” narrative.

Let’s not forget Roosevelt and America REALLY didn’t want to enter WW2 to help us out.

It was only because Churchill could spin a good yarn. Oh! And, Pearl Harbour that they entered.

We believe we’ve been “International bezzies” and therefor it’s easy to do business with America.

Again, take away the “common language” and we’re probably closer culturally to Germany than the USA.

3. LA and New York is NOT America. The Danger of Celebrity Culture & Media

Due to media, podcasts, films, Hollywood, music, Celebrity Culture we believe America is “New York” and ”LA”.

It’s not.
It’s not at all.

That’s like saying Poland is exactly like London just because they’re both in Europe (technically not, I know).

Nate and Ali told me New York is more similar to London, than New York is similar to Nashville.

Brands make the mistake assuming “America” is New York and LA.

The Midwest and Southern states are wholly different.

British brands struggle in America because we’re “two nations divided by a common language”

Have a top weekend shagmonkeyz

Popey xxxx

Still Hungry? Course you are…

Please feel free to gorge on the most downloaded podcast episodes of all time (these are CERTY: BANGERS)

1. Rory Sutherland: Why Challenger Brands Must Never Follow Logic to Truly Disrupt Categories 

2. Waitrose CEO: How Challenger Food & Drink Brands Can Win and Build Profitable Partnerships with Waitrose - James Baile

3. Spencer Matthews: How Spencer Matthews Built Unshakeable Resilience and Raised + £10m to Launch Clean Co. in Sainsbury's, Tesco and the U.S.A. 

4. How Grenade Exited to Mondelez for £200 Million and Lessons in Unapologetic Authenticity- Juliett Baratt

5. Tyrells Tycoon: How William Chase built and sold Tyrells for £50 million and sold Chase Distillery to DIAGEO 

Or read our most read articles of all time

1. Quick quick - we must escape the Middle

2. You moron you let the disease infect your mind

3. do you like bad sex?

4. raving in Ibiza taught me six brand building lessons