Post Christmas Depression, Horny Weddings In Ibiza + Why Targeting Gen Z is F*cking DUMB Be Like BOTIVO

I am swimming or sinking or drowning in the mucky swamp of post Christmas Depression

My eyes feel like swollen Lindt Balls filled with gloopy macabre and melancholy.

I am Lardy and Tardy.

Lugubriously lugging my Darby to the David Lloyd, Weybridge.

Where I’ll be met by egregious Swarm of Sharks in GymShark chewing my ear off with “New Year, New Me, bud”… “get your steps in, bud”…. “count ya cals, bud”

Oh! Fucking Fuck Off, BUD.

Why do all PT’s use the word BUD. BUD. BUD. BUD.

I haven’t written a New Years resolution.

Or goals.
Or Q1 targets.

Am just trying to get through the fucking day without poppin’-to-offy to grab a packet of fags.

Or munch the head off a Lindt Reindeer on the way to the shitter.

Chewing Nicorete gum like a crazed famished Combine Harvestor as my pig-n-blanket fingers type wearily away into the creative abyss.

Wearily winding and winding and winding away to Ibiza.

I am dreaming of Ibiza.

Last May, I was in Ibiza for a wedding.

Relax.

I’m not one of those insufferable plebs who pronounces Ibiza like (ee-bee-tha) or Chorizo like (cho-ree-thoo) or Parpadelle with turgid Italian twang (Parrrhh-Parrrrrrhh-Deeehh-liiiiii)

You’re from Basildon, mate.

Weddings in Ibiza reveal everything that’s WRONG with brand building.

You were told a lie by the marketing gimps

The Villa was moorish-white and delicious-diamond proudly protruded out the voluptuous, very delicious green hills.

Our taxi curled up hills, wheels singing as they excitedly licked the tarmac leading to the white beaming villa.

I pressed the button. Window down. Dunked sunburnt hungover face into Summer zephyr.

The gorgeous orchestral biscuity sound of crickets fizzed as the wind soothed my sunburnt faced. Sunset swarmed sky. Bonfire of Burning. Pink and blue and orange splattering and smothering the hills like Summer’s Caramel sauce.

The Manc “Cabby” who was a drug dealer called Joel put on Global Ibiza Radio.

“oi oi - Ya cheekeh monkehs’
“Where’s you’s monkehs offs tooss?”
“Wan guest list for DC10 tonight ya cheekeh monkehs”

“Off to a wedding bud” (fuck, am I a PT)

We pulled up to the villa. Lascivious love was in the air and sodomy sparkled in the sky (said no one ever).

The Groom’s Divorced-Thrice Mother in Law swanned around with a coquettish strut.

Known as Miranda at the golf club.
Known Randy-Mandy after her first bottle of Rosé.
Known Randy-Mandy-ready-to-dish-out-the-Handy-Shandy’s after her third bottle of Rosé.
Randy-Mandy dropped coquettish cannonballs on the God-looking bar staff.

I swimming in suffocating small talk to a bloke in a kilt who kept saying “wot de ye think? aye pal?”

Why’s there always a bloke in a fucking kilt at a wedding?

At the Ibiza Wedding,

I chatted to a 73 year old lady, we realised we both had a love of food. She loves Meatopia.
I chatted to a 22 year old girl, we realised we both had a love of food. She loves Ottolenghi.
I chatted to a 28 year old bloke, we realised we both had a love of food.

SUDDENLY I realised

Weddings a great example of THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PSYCHOGRAPHIC VS DEMOGRAPHIC.

Reminds me of a podcast I recored with BOTIVO and Seth Godin.

Why BOTIVO created 21 characters for a dinner party with actual names who are their mates (Psychographic vs. Demographic)

BOTIVO’s packaging is genius. Look closely, it’s a wonderfully lavish party. With people of all ages.

A great example of PSYCHOGRAPHIC VS DEMOGRAPHIC.

First, ask yourself this

“Do you remember that time, you suddenly realise you’re no longer the YOUNG CONSUMER?”.

Are challenger brands missing a trick?

Are challenger brands leaving a HUGE opportunity on the table?

The more I think about it.

I’ve got 41 year friends who still feel 25.
I’ve got 52 year old friends who feel 38.
I’ve got a 80 year old Nana who still feels 26 (especially at Caravan Club, Marge, you naughty minx)

Maybe the Business World lied?

In Business, we’re taught there’s a HUMUNGOUS DIFFERENCE between a 22 and 62 year old and a 35 and 52 year and 44 and 75 year old.

In Business, we’re taught that when a 33 year old has kids they morph into an alien.

In Business, we’re taught that when people hit 63 they suddenly, overnight, they change who they are.

In Business, we’re taught to position our brand by demographic.

We leave a HUGE DORMANT opportunity on the table.

Enter: Seth Godin

Seth's distinction between:

Demographic: age, residence, income

Psychographic: unique tastes, interests, values, world view.

Seth says, brands focus on Demographic > Psychographic

BIG BUT:

Your Psychographic doesn’t change at the same speed as your Demographic.

A 60 Year old who’s into Health and Fitness has tonnes in common with 21 year old who’s into Health and Fitness.

Demographic DIFFERENT.

Psychographic SIMILAR.

A 45 year old who’s into Meat and Barbecuing has tonnes in common with a 23 year old who’s into Meat and Barbecuing.

Demographic DIFFERENT.

Psychographic SIMILAR.

A 19 year old who’s into Fashion has tonnes in common with a 73 year old who’s into Fashion.

Demographic DIFFERENT.

Psychographic SIMILAR.

In Real life, yes, your values and personality change as you get married + have kids + stop slamming Sambuka till 4am + start taking belligerent Saturday Morning drives to the tip.

BUT.

Your Psychographic doesn’t change at the SAME SPEED as your Demographic.

Where’s the UNSEEN opportunity for challenger brands?

Typically, challenger brands target by AGE and DEMOGRAPHIC.

We, myopically masturbate over how to target Gen Z or Millennials.

Why do we never ask this question:

How do we target the older demographic with the SAME psychographics

This unlocks a whole NEW market (with more money, too)

BOTIVO’s genius?

Play to the SAME psychographic across MULTIPLE demographics i.e. all the different ages on the packaging.

Alex Smith talks about CORE MARKET vs. DORMANT MARKET.

BOTIVO CORE market = (demographic and psychographic) = 25 to 36 year olds who like wellness, having fun, whilst drinking moderately.

BOTIVO DORMANT market = (psychographic) Older people with the same psychographic, wellness, having fun, whilst drinking moderately.

Look up.

Focus on Psychographic vs. Demographic.

Find your DORMANT MARKET.

Unlock more revenue.

Soz mate. Cheeky advert time.

Just a cheeky little advert to our CERTY BANGER sponsor big fish before we get back to the newsletter.

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Another Lesson from BOTIVO founders Imme 4 Brand Tensions to play to as a brand (GENIUS)

Brand strategy is asking HARD QUESTIONS to find EASY ANSWERS.

Imme is a branding GENIUS.

Here are 4 questions they relentlessly asked to separate from the homogenised pack.

1. Cultural Tension: How can we do the opposite of what’s going on in the zeitgeist?

2. Category Tension: where is the white space in the category + what is the counter-category opportunity?

3. Consumer Tension: who are they and why are they different to the rest of the category?

4. Capability Tension: what can you do no one else can do?

   Still Hungry? Course you are…

Please feel free to gorge on the most downloaded podcast episodes of all time (these are CERTY: BANGERS)

1. Rory Sutherland: Why Challenger Brands Must Never Follow Logic to Truly Disrupt Categories 

2. Waitrose CEO: How Challenger Food & Drink Brands Can Win and Build Profitable Partnerships with Waitrose - James Baile

3. Spencer Matthews: How Spencer Matthews Built Unshakeable Resilience and Raised + £10m to Launch Clean Co. in Sainsbury's, Tesco and the U.S.A. 

4. How Grenade Exited to Mondelez for £200 Million and Lessons in Unapologetic Authenticity- Juliett Baratt

5. Tyrells Tycoon: How William Chase built and sold Tyrells for £50 million and sold Chase Distillery to DIAGEO 

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