the World's Best Salesman reveals his biggest secret (...shhhhh)

Irreverent Creamy Irish & Master of The Universe screamed at each other. Would they kill each other? Who knows?

The stifling whiff of Chow Mien and Slow Roasted Duck and Pork billowed out of China Town, danced down Dean Street, ooooooozed across Old Compton Street.

Soho. Wednesday. 5.48pm. A balmy and skin-sticky Summer Evening.

I smoked a cigarette, her coquettish curls of smoke marbled through the brilliant blue air. I witnessed the screaming. Loud screaming.

Irreverent Creamy Irish & Master of The Universe were sat at Quo Vadis having a business meeting.

Irreverent Creamy Irish vs. The Master of The Universe.

She was Irish Cream white. A Fanta Orange Maine of Hair. Piercing blue eyes, zipping round their sockets like ADHD marbles. Tattoos of bats and ancient lost cities and mermaids smothered her arms and legs. High pitch poetry accent like Jimmy Hendrix guitar. Adidas Samba’s pink and mint green. Bruised leather jacket with sparkling silver spikes. Chain-smoked negronis and cigarettes. High Performance Alchy. Chuggable & Huggable.

“We’ve built a challenger brand… it’s great craic like… fokin’ great craic like…”

“We’re disrupting the functional..like… beverage market… it’s basically Negroni’s with functional mushroom… and …Vitamin B 12”

He was Master of The Universe. Whoop Watch Wally. Hyrox Henry. M&S Nibbles Nause. Ferociously insecure and brilliantly arrogant. Peanut Butter Tanned. Brutalist Shark Jaw line. Armani suit. Dangerously Dapper. Oliver Sweeney pointy shoes sparkling under the sun like black oil. Orchestra of nostril and ear hair.

“What are the KPI’s of the business?”
“What’s the ROS and current Run Rate?”
“What’s the founding team and what’s the EBITDA?’

Irreverent Creamy Irish retorted… “I saw EBITDA at a Drum & Base rave in Croatia… great fokin’ craic like… great fokin’ craic”.

Creamy Irish was pitching Master of The Universe to land investment for her challenger brand.

I’d just finished a podcast with Marketing God, Sir John Hegarty. At 81 year’s old, John is still getting-the-fuck-after-it. Dapper Work Horse. Creative Beast.

John said.

”Language is the greatest barrier to communication”

The Creamy Irish and Master of The Universe are examples where “language is the greatest barrier to communication”

Let’s dive in deeper

Sir John told me about the greatest sales person of all time, Tim Bell.

Tim was known as the Ampersand in Saatchi & Saatchi. Legends Charles and Maurice Saatchi saw Mr. Bell as their Weapon of Mass Persuasion.

I asked John… why was Tim such a great salesman?

On the surface, sales is so basic and simple.

1. You find problems or pain points.

2. You solve problems or paint points.

3. You make money by solving problems or pain points.

Dive deeper, sales is so deep and complicated.

Because language is the barrier to communication.

John said you may have the best solution in the world to someone’s problem. But the nuances of language are often the barrier to communication.

Tim Bell’s genius was adapting his style to the person he was selling to.

If Tim spoke to a numbers person, he’d speak numbers
If Tim spoke to a creative, he’d speak creative
If Tim spoke to a KPI driven person, he’d speak KPI
If Tim spoke to a Blue Sky Thinker, he’d speak Blue Sky

Same problem.
Same solution.
Different language.

we buy from people we know and trust. we buy from people that feel familiar.

When pitching to an investor or a grocery retailer or hiring an intern or speaking to your Nana - your language must change to fit the person you’re speaking to.

True too when building out your challenger sales team.

Each channel requires a very different type of communicator and language.

Grocery Account Managers - KPI-Kevin’s
OOH - Gift of El’ Gab Yappers
Category Management - Deep Data Donnies
Head of Sales - Russel Crowe in Gladiator Energy.

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Thank me later.

Popey xx